my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
