Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
