Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
