there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
