wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
my poor anus
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize