i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize