He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
