Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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