***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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