Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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