We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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