Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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