No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
