We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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