this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
