his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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