Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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