So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
