i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
