i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
