I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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