I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't think brook has ever known best
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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