I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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