If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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