I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
