wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
