dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
