We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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