This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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