just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
