so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
