Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
