these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
