Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
