Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
