either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
That accounts for only three of the penises
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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