Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
