Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
