my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
