So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize