The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have fence marks all over my body
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
