Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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