ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
