Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
