She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
