Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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