five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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