I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
