my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
