you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
