He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
