I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
