You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
