After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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