So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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