I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
