It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
