Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
