I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
