i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
