This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
