Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Let's get the cat blown out
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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