I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
