some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The air was thick with penises
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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