I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
