im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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