There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
