Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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