I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize